Did you ever notice that there are no recipes in the first Thug Kitchen cookbook with grapefruits?

Yeah, me neither. (Till just now, when I thought I’d look it up.)

It’s weird. Not a single grapefruit. Not-a-one.

But don’t worry, I know EXACTLY what you’re thinking, and I was worried too at first. I was quite concerned. But it’s okay, I’ve checked it out. They’re not citrus-fruit-ist. They still include lemons and limes in their recipes. No discrimination here. The Thugs are open to all fruits and veggies. Even eggplants.

And that is all I wanted to say about that.

But what about the assholes in the title you ask? After all, it’s ‘Grapefruits and Assholes’. Well, I thought I’d draw in the reader with the promise of buttholes.

Am I actually gonna talk about assholes? No, not today.

Is this misleading?  Well, yes, maybe. But I prefer to think of  it as mysterious, elusive, and non-conformist. Here, we don’t adhere to the usual societal norms and expectations. Here, we eat jam on vegetables. We sing while we are on the toilet. We dance while we are cooking. We like to eat rhubarb and liquorice together. We make up our own language, and we nickname everyone in the household the exact same boy’s nickname – even the girls. Does this lead to confusion? Yes. But you can’t say we’re not original  We are a bit unusual in this house, but that’s just how we roll.

Anyways back to the citrus fruits.

So I decided to make the Lemon – Mint Quinoa. Which was friggin’ delicious. And the Thugs are right. The toasted almonds add a fucking crunch that you won’t regret. I didn’t zest my finger, and I didn’t even burn anything!

*fist pumps air* FUCK YEAH!

I added extra lemon, just coz that’s how I roll. (You bastards are lucky that I didn’t top it with ice cream, or some other weirdness).

Here it is straddling a salad (AKA “Plant Nachos”) and my second go at the grilled peach salsa. This time I made the salsa hotter and actually used an outdoor grill for the peaches. Mmm mmm mmm! And I’ve got to say those three things complement the fuck outta each other. Like chicks at a cocktail party when they’re all wearing their best dresses. “No, you look nice.” “No YOU look nice!” (followed by uncontrollable giggling, and flicking of hair).