This truly is a “slawsome” side dish, just like the Thugs say.

I love that they use peanut butter in the dressing. I mean who would ever think to add that to a cabbage slaw?! When I think summery cabbage side dish, I think coleslaw. But that has been done to death. This is just a bit cool and different, you know?

Anyways, I made this because I’d been given a massive red cabbage. I thought let’s fucking find something to use this bad boy in. So rather than using part red cabbage, part green cabbage like the recipe says, I thought, FUCK IT. I have red cabbage. I’m using all red cabbage. I’m not wasting my money on buying a second cabbage. I mean how much cabbage does one person need? I assessed the situation and made an executive decision: Yup. I have enough goddamn cabbage in my life right now-no need to buy more. Cabbage is like drama. A person can just have too much of it in their life.

Anyways, I figured the reason the Thugs say use red and green cabbage together is probably just for decorative reasons. The presentation of the whole thing. It looks way nicer if you have a colourful dish with two types of cabbage, rather than some same colour dish. You know what I’m saying? Half the enjoyment of the food is in how it looks, right? (and the brain is the most sensual organ in the body, yada, yada, yada.)

But fuck it. I figure the cabbages taste the same. But what the hell do I know? I aint no fucking cabbage connoisseur.

So I chop the shit out of the red cabbage that I had. I chopped to my heart’s content. I chopped like I had never chopped before.

By the way, can I just point out, as an innocent bystander, that there’s a fine art to that shit. Chop it too chunky and thick, and it’s a hideous, crunchy, rubbery mess that you’re chewing forever to get through. Like a cow eternally grazing. Chop it too fine and it becomes all stringy and it’s like those weird-ass chin hairs you occasionally find and have to pluck out, and pretend never existed. Like the wiry start of woman’s beard. You know? Or a green-faced witch’s straggly purple hair. You get the picture right?

Anyways, prepared the right way this slaw is NOTHING like that.

And the dressing makes it creamy and slawsome.

And it’s nice and crunchy. Perfect accompaniment to a BBQ. Bring that shit to a party and be popular. (although technically I guess you have to have some sort of degree of popularity to be invited to the party in the first place. But whatevs.)

Yum. To be recommended.

On a whole different note: today I managed to find plantain in this AMAZING store that my friend introduced me to. Is it sad that I’m super psyched about it? And that I also got tempeh and a massive bag of black beans?

PLAN-to the fucking-TAIN bitches.

I didn’t even know what a plantain was before I was holding one in my clammy little hands today. And I couldn’t remember how many I needed for the plantain chips recipe, so in the excitement I grabbed 5. Turns out I only needed one.

Maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance that I won’t fuck up this challenge after all. Maybe, I’ll actually cook all the recipes in time.