I made some delicious Thug Kitchen recipes the other day. The lemony red lentil soup, (p. 85) and the white bean and rosemary hummus. (p.109) Am I gonna blog about them today?

Nope.

Why? Because I gots the flu, that’s why.

So what takes way less effort? Making popcorn, bitches. Thug style. (aka stove top herb popcorn – page 116.)

CONFESSION TIME: I’d never made popcorn like this before. I’ve only ever shoved those greasy bags in the microwave and waited for the goddamn ding. You know the ones. The ones that are so salty that they leave you gasping for a drink. The ones that have all that steam and you’re impatient so you open it too soon, burning the shit out of yourself. The very same ones where there are always hundreds of unpopped kernels left at the bottom of the bag. Have you ever tried chewing those little unpopped fuckers? What is it with popcorn? It makes us so weird and desperate that we try to suck every last little bit outta the semi-popped ones, to our own fucking dental detriment.

And what’s with our behaviour at Cinemas?! Since when is it okay to eat like an animal just because the lights are dimmed? Are you like me, shoving the popcorn into your mouth with a hand like a shovel on a loop? Throwing it in your mouth’s general direction, hoping for the best? Do you find popcorn in the weirdest of places (and even body cavities) later during the night and just stick whatever you find in your mouth? I mean, what IS that?!? Let alone the crazy mess we leave behind on the cinema floor.

Anyways, this Thug Kitchen popcorn is way healthier, tastier, and ironically more civilised despite its Thugish name.

And it’s easy to make. Same energy expended as shoving the bag in the microwave.

Plus you get to listen out for firecracker sounds in your saucepan. My three-year-old stood on a chair to look through the glass lid, to see where each pop was coming from. He had a blast. The one downside I would say is that your kitchen smells a bit deep fryer-ish afterwards. But so what? I’d rather have a funky kitchen than some high blood pressure and clogged arteries, you know what I’m saying? And you even get a small B12 kick from the nooch (for you Thug novices, that’s Thug speak for nutritional yeast)

Now go shove some of that in your face. Deeeeeee-thuggin-lish!

BONUS ROUND:

As an added bonus I made the Rosemary Caramel Popcorn from Thug Kitchen 2: Party Grub.  (page 172) OH MY GODDAMN SUGAR MONSTER- This shit awakened something in me that I didn’t know existed. Something hidden, something primal. I think it was the brown sugar. I mean what addict can resist a brown sugar fix? And let’s not kid ourselves, unless you live sugar-free you are an addict. An addict for reals. I heard that sugar is 4 times more addictive than heroin. What do ya say to those so-called “facts”? ( I say so-called because I can’t remember where I heard it, or who from…and was it really 4 times more addictive? Or was it 6? Dunno. I got a mind like a sieve. It must be all that heroin* …Whaaaaaaat!?!?)

Thug Kitchen are advertising this recipe for free right now here on their webpage as part of their #TwelveDaysofTK promotion. So check it out. You don’t wanna miss this AMAZING recipe. It’s seasonal…It’s addictive in a heroiney-kinda-way…what more do you want from a snack?

* For the recond, in case social services is reading this, I’d just like to say I’m kidding about the heroin. I’m not kidding about the shovel hand though.