Refrain From Punching Annoying Relatives In The Face: Eat This Instead.

So the holiday season can bring out the best in people-or the worst.

All that giving, and sharing, and generosity…All that eating, and drinking, and laughing…Songs about peace on earth…Family reunited…It’s enough to bring a tear to your eye.

On the flip side, you have all that petty bullshit, and family drama…Passive aggressive relatives, snide comments…subtle hostility, sometimes outright agression…It’s enough to make you wanna tear your hair out, or weep uncontrollably.

All I can say is sometimes you just gotta eat your feelings. And if you are gonna have a feelings feast, then this is an excellent meal for just that. Coconut lime rice with mango and red beans. The creamy coconut makes it a real comfort food, while the mango offers just a bit of sweetness, balanced by the tartness of the lime, and the brown rice is just filling, helping to plug the emotional hole, albeit temporarily.

So when someone starts commenting that “you’ve really let yourself go” or starts criticising your life choices, go grab yourself a bowl of this mouth-watering shit. The zestful flavours are enough to tune out any self-righteous asshole. The only downside is they might be tempted to join you for a bowl.

 I’m not gonna bend your ear about how I made the stock from scraps, because you’ve had enough ear bending already this year from Aunt Sally about what a bitch Aunt Margaret is. But I will just show you these pictures:

And I will say that I fucking love how you never get the same colour twice coz it’s scraps. And scraps are unique, just like the passive aggressive comments made by your step-mom.  Never two alike.

Anyway. I rustled up the onions, rice, and fresh ginger and added the colourful stock. It smelt AMAZING.



While that awesomeness was simmering I chopped the crap outta a mango. When the time was right (when it’s right, it’s right…and you’ll fucking know it.) I thew in the beans, mango and lime. It became this sticky, gorgeous smelling goop that just wanted to goop its way onto my plate and into my mouth. This picture does it no justice.



Did I actually take a photo of my plate? No, I forgot. I was too busy eating my feelings. I was chewin-n’-swallowin’-while-wallowin’. But honestly, I dare you to whip up a batch of this perfection and try to stay clear-headed enough to snapshot its ass before it’s gone. This dish, once served up, is as elusive as a unicorn. As fleeting as the Loch Ness Monster.

I think the secret is the lime zest. It just gives it something extra. I applaud the Thugs for the addition of the lime zest. It really seals the deal. Without it, this dish would be only okay. Ordinary. Edible, but not spectacular. Definitely not “eat-your-feelings-food.”

So, promise me ONE THING. Do not cheat and use one of these. You are only cheating yourself.




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