Dip Your Balls in My Soup

The challenge: to cook all 115 recipes from the first Thug Kitchen cookbook ‘Eat Like You Give a Fuck’ within 365 days.

78 recipes down, 37 recipes to go. 86 days left.

Will I make it? With an upcoming house move I’m not so sure. It means adjusting to a new oven/stove and getting a new internet connection installed….Well, I just hope it doesn’t fuck with my blogging. (#Firstworldproblems. I know, I know.)

Let’s recap and see how it’s gone so far.

I’ve shattered numerous glasses and plates, burnt beans and sweet potato, burnt a big hole in my table-cloth, accidentally stolen a nice man’s shopping, and I’ve even been called a racist for supporting Thug Kitchen…Let’s just say it’s been interesting. Never a dull moment.

What have I learnt along the way?

That tofu CAN be good. That gin isn’t ALL bad, and neither is tonic water. That most Thug Kitchen recipes are AMAZING, and that I have fucking stamina and perseverance in the kitchen, and a ‘who-gives-a-fuck-attitude’ that I didn’t even know about. (Which I have now started applying liberally wherever I can. And to all things.) I’ve also learnt that though you CAN mask the burnt taste and colour of rice with tumeric and curry powder, it won’t matter if your fire alarm gives you away at your dinner party.

This time I decided to make the Wedding Soup with white bean balls and kale. You can currently find this delicacy on page 103…and  also in my stomach, because I had another two bowls of leftover soup for lunch. (Is it possible that it tastes even better the next day?!)

This recipe wasn’t the quickest recipe in the book to make, but it also wasn’t the longest. It was totally worth every minute spent, and now that I’ve done it once I’m sure it’ll be even faster to create a second time (or a third, or a fourth. Yup, it’s that good.)

The balls were surprisingly easy to make and I think that they’d work really well in other dishes too. They were almost home-made falafel like.* Crisp on the outside, yet soft on the inside, they dissolved really well into the soup. It was like they were relaxing into a hot bath, all their troubles just melting away as they sank deep into the warm water. Eventually they just came apart all together.

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The soup itself was fast and easy to make. The thing that took longest with the soup was waiting for the pasta to cook. The thugs had said to use “whateverthefuck” pasta I had, so I grabbed a bag of little animal shapes because I thought it might be fun for my kid, and it happened to be the first bag I pulled from the kitchen cupboard. If you look closely you can see little duckies, and horses, and other friendly shit like that in there. (Rest assured that though there are ducks in my food today, this recipe is still vegan.)

The combined effect is tantalising to the taste buds. Something about the hint of lemon in the background really brings this soup to life. Gives it the spark that every good marriage needs.

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Wedding Soup, for those days where you can’t commit to relationships, but you can commit to pleasuring your taste buds.

So sink your teeth into my balls – go on, I dare you.

And to those of you who may not be into bean balls for whatever reason, feel free to bring your own balls to the table.

Dip your balls in this soup.

I promise you won’t regret it.

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* Maybe the Thugs invented this recipe when they had leftover falafels one day and just thought, “let’s toss them in this soup and see what happens!” The best shit always happens by accident.


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