The challenge: To cook all 115 recipes from the first Thug Kitchen cookbook within 365 days. 85 recipes down, just 30 recipes to go. With only 63 days left, and a massive house move looming, let’s just say…it’s getting interesting.

Moving can be stressful. That weird No-Man’s-Land-Stage where you’re packed up in one place, but haven’t moved into your new place yet and can’t find anything because everything’s in boxes- that is THE WORST. Time drags during that stage. (like a zombie’s feet across the post-apocalyptic pavement.)

To combat stress and wrinkles you could put cucumber slices on your eyes. Or you could just stick some cucumber in your mouth if you’re too busy for that. These quick pickled cucumbers are just the ticket, because not only do they taste amazing, but because they’re so quick and easy to make, they give you a sense of control again, in a world that feels disorganised, chaotic, and full of unlabeled boxes.

Plus, it’s just good to keep your blood sugar levels going while you’re busy opening boxes trying to find your goddamn waffle iron.

This recipe could not be simpler. Once you chop your cucumbers and onions, you salt them, rub it in with your hands, and then pickle the shit out of them in the vinegars.

Hot tip: If you wanna know which vinegars, and specific quantities of the ingredients open your book to page 120. That’s where you’ll find this biatch.

Throw them in a fancy jar, and stick them in the fridge. They’d even make great gifts! Your friends will love you turning up to dinner at theirs with a jar of these bad boys much more than  if you bring them flowers. And if the zombie apocalypse really does happen, you’ve got a ready made weapon: just chuck the jar at their head. It’s really a win-win however you look at it.

P.S. They work great on the side of the lasagne, or the sweet potato enchiladas.

You’re fucking welcome.