Got the seasonal blues? Have a brownie.

Feeling a bit bored? Or taking a ride on the procrastination train? Whip up a batch of these brownies.

Celebrating with some friends? Make a tray of these brownies.

Got a date with the sofa? Bring brownies.

It’s a god damn Monday? Shove a brownie in your mouth.

Pulling a sickie from work and hiding at home hoping no one will find out? Have a brownie.

Just got fired for pulling a sickie from work? Insert a brownie into your mouth. Immediately.

Let’s face it, you never need an actual reason for a brownie, and especially not these Fudgy-as-Fuck Brownies from Thug Kitchen. The Thugs have done it again. I’d stand and applaud them, but my fingers are covered in brownie dough right now.

Just look at this gooey gorgeousness.

The added awesomeness about these brownies is that because they are vegan you can let your kid casually lick the spoon, the bowl, the fucking kitchen counter even, with a clear conscience because there are no raw eggs or anything else in them. Why is this so awesome? Because you know social services won’t come knocking at your door claiming you gave your kid salmonella poisoning. Now if you feed them too many brownies and no other food then maybe they’ll come knocking anyway…but hey, everything in moderation right?

So throw your kid a raw carrot from time to time, and let’s get down with these decadent chocolatey fuckers.

They pair well with the whipped cream (page 219 same book) or with ice cream, nice cream or whatever you fancy. Throw some nuts on, or some fucking sprinkles. Hell, get creative and throw some mash potato on the side, see if your kid will notice it’s not ice cream. Just don’t sprinkle with green peas, or chopped kale, that shit will give up the jig.

These brownies will knock your god damn socks off because the ratio of ‘deliciousness’ to ‘quick n’ easy’ is out of proportion, with deliciousness spiking on the charts.

Just remember that if social services do come to your door, you can tell them that the brownies have lemon juice and flax-seed in. Lemon juice is full of vitamin C and flax seed will help keep your kid regular. If that doesn’t get them to leave you alone then send them away with a few brownies in a doggy bag. That should bribe them up real nice. *

* This is meant as a joke. However, on a real note, these brownies work really well as a bribe in a court of law, and also for probation officers. I haven’t tried them on police officers and speeding tickets yet, but that’s next on my to-do-list for today.