The challenge: to cook and blog all 115 recipes from the first Thug Kitchen cookbook ‘Eat Like You Give a Fuck’ in 365 days. I made the deadline by the skin of my teeth but now that I’ve had a taste, I can’t stop. So today we’re having Mujaddara from the ‘Fast as Fuck’ cookbook.

The last thing I cooked attempted to cook from the Fast as Fuck cookbook was the Pesto Spaghetti Squash.  Sawing one of those fuckers in half was so stressful that I decided that the only thing spaghetti squash is good for is hollowing out and turning into a bong. (Trust, and follow that shit with a TK brownie and you’ll see what I’m saying)

Anyways Mujaddara.

This shit’s got lentils, onions and loads of spices. What’s not to love? It’s filling and simple to make and if you serve it for 2 people instead of the 6 that the recipe says it makes for, then you can feast your face off and still have loads of delicious left overs.

Now if you cry when you’re slicing the onions, you just need to deal with it. Everybody needs a good cry sometimes, so let those tears flow free. If you wanna get all dramatic about it, you can put on some cheap mascara and stand in front of a mirror and let rip. Maybe put on some sad love songs and remember that time your heart got broken. Get all your unresolved shit out. Dig deep, and work through some stuff.

Or you could just man up* and slice some damn onions. Your call.

Onions are so healthy that you’ll be pumping your family and friends full of shit like quercetin, vitamin B6, and all kinds of beneficial stuff when you feed them this. I read somewhere that they used to use onions as some sort of preventative medicine during epidemics of the plague. Can you believe that? So next time the plague comes around I’m gonna paint a big cross on my door, and hole up on my couch in pajamas with Netflix and a bag of onions. Let those apocalyptic good times roll!

This dish is filling, warming, and brimming with full-bodied flavours. A glass of red and some candle light on the side wouldn’t be out-of-place. Just sayin’. You could even class it up with a table-cloth…Unless you’re still on the couch with that bag of onions. Then just use the table-cloth as a blanket and carry on couch calamity-ing with your bad self.

Whatever your situation, look forward to having these lentils in your mouth, in your belly, inbetween your sofa cushions.

Now to distract you from apocalyptic thoughts, I thought I’d end with a joke about lentils.

What’s the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

Well, I wouldn’t pay 200 bucks to have a lentil on my face.

* Apologies for this sexist expression. We are well aware that men can cry and still be manly, and on the flip side, some women never shed a tear. We just thought man up sounded funnier in this context than pull your socks up. (I am well aware that it is just me writing this. By ‘we’ I mean both my masculine and my feminine sides. We’ve got a whole crazy ying-yang thing going on over here)