Some mornings just deserve French toast.

Not those asshole mornings where the universe is conspiring against you from the moment your eyes are forced open by your blaring alarm. Those mornings  deserve stale burnt toast with bitter coffee from an ugly chipped mug. Fuck those mornings.

But those other mornings, those beautiful mornings where you feel happy to be alive…They deserve French toast. And this Thug Kitchen Cinnamon Apricot French toast, boys and girls, is the kind that will make you smile.

The Thugs, of course, said to use 1/2 a loaf of day-old bread. Stale-ish bread is the best for french toast. I didn’t have a loaf, but I had some glorious bread rolls that my friend had made with her own loving hands, and being a couple of days old they were getting to that slightly dry phase, so I thought they’d really class up the affair. If there’s one thing french toast deserves it’s class. Besides, the apricots had really upped the ante, so we had to keep it on that higher level.

I simmered the milk and apricots and then blended them to make the batter. I only had regular oat milk, not vanilla sweetened so I added a lid’s worth of vanilla essence. It was a tiny lid and it smelled amazing. That and the orange zest really got my nostrils flaring (in the good way.) After dipping the bread I fried them on my frying pan, like any kitchen amateur would do. In other words I burnt them…but only a little.

Now if you’re like me you like things just a little charred. To get that other-worldly flavour, that hint of background burnt. It adds a depth of flavour experience that the food would lack otherwise. Burnt flavours are my expertise. The way wine connoisseurs can detect hints of oak and know what region the wine is from, and even how much rain fell that year, I can tell you exactly what frying pan was used to burn with, how old the pan is and whether or not it’s non-stick. And biatches, I tell you right now, whenever we cook/burn french toast in this house, it’s always a good vintage.

Serve these French bad boys up with some maple syrup, fresh fruit and nuts and away you go. Drop some good coffee and some fat beats and have yourself a breakfast party.

Now it’s good to remember when cooking Thug to have an arsenal of swear words at the ready. Cuss words should be pouring out of your mouth while you cook, in the same way coffee should be pouring into it when you dine.

Maple syrup your way to happiness with this delightful breakfast and before you know it your plate will be empty, and your tummy full.