I’m health kickin’ it right now.

It’s all leafy green stuff, and quinoa, and buckwheat, and herbal teas. I even found some kelp powder in my cupboard that I considered using somehow. Maybe I’ll throw it in a smoothie. Maybe I’ll snort it. Who knows. (I didn’t even know what kelp was till yesterday.)

 I was snack free. For three whole days. I was doing so well.

And then something happened.

My sugar monster woke up. He started stretching, and whispering weird shit to me inside my head. He got himself a cup of coffee and settled in for the long haul. I tried ignoring him, but his whispering got louder. He started reminiscing about shit like chocolate, and caramel popcorn. And potato chips. So many potato chips. Different flavours, different dips. Potato chips in all sizes and levels of crunchiness. Before I knew it I was rummaging through the kitchen cupboards, craving like a motherfucker in rehab. I’d alternate between that and running back to the sofa empty-handed, only to frantically get up two minutes later and rummage some more.

In the end I just thought ‘Fuck This.’ There are healthy ways to snack. So I got out my Thug Kitchen Party Grub cookbook and made a big ass batch of Every Day Guacamole, to have with plantain chips from TK Book 1. I also threw together some Roasted Garlic Dip to have with veggies batons.

After that my sugar monster shut the fuck up. I didn’t give it a sugary, brightly coloured chocolate bar from the store, I gave it some quality snacking. The guacamole was amazing. It was creamy and more-ish, and beyond satisfying. I would never have thought to add cumin and fresh cilantro to a guac, but it was good. Full of all the good fats, full of anti-inflammatory properties.  What store-bought, e-number, MSG packing dip can you say actually helps your body as you eat it? This was amazing. Talk about guilt-free snacking. And the roasted garlic dip went really well with sliced red peppers. It had a subtle garlic taste, with depths of flavour. Really unusual. Very creamy. And garlic is incredible too. It will enrich your life in new amazing ways. It’s got antifungal properties, it’s boosts your immune system, it fucking cleans your house, does your laundry, and walks your dog when you’re not at home.

So next time I’m not torturing myself. Why snack less, when you can snack more?