Feast Your Fucking Face Off

Over the holidays we all like to eat right?

Over the Easter break I wanted to make sure we had some good eats in the fridge…For you know…snacking. So I went a bit Thug Kitchen ballistic.

We feasted for days. I also made these home-made chocolates because, well….snacking. And they’re way fucking healthier than store-bought crap, with no hidden ingredients, and so fucking easy to make. You melt some shit, you chill some shit, and then my dear dubious readers, you eat some shit. Some awesome shit. We’ve nicknamed these little mofolios ‘crack’ because they are so addictive. Here’s the recipe.

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Anyways, I hit the Thug Kitchen Party Grub book pretty hard, making a whole series of recipes:

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Poppy Seed Potato Salad. p.79

This tangy motherfucker is welcome on my plate ANY DAY. The dressing makes you wanna go back for second and third helpings. I’m not usually a huge fan of celery, but the added crunch it gives totally fits in with the rest of this dish. The poppy seeds give it a special somethin’ somethin’ too, youknowwhati’msayin’?

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Big-Ass Salad Bowl p.90

You can never go wrong with one of these. What’s so bad-ass about Thug Kitchen is the presentation of this salad. Keeping all the ingredients separate makes it look really classy, like you stylized it. And an added bonus is if you have picky kids, they can choose what they want, without everything being all mixed up. God forbid the cucumbers should touch the tomatoes, you know? You laugh, but I’m dead serious. The nightmare that may ensue if a tiny piece of celery were to land on a non-celery eating child’s plate by accident…it’s beyond description. And should a beet fall into the wrong hands- it could lead to a disaster of catastrophic proportions. The little traitor-snitch-bastard leaves a god forsaken pink trail wherever its been, as though it’s advertising the cross contamination that has occurred.

Speaking of beets…

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Roasted Beet Hummus p.52

This divinely coloured hummus is so gorgeous that you can bring it to any party and impress the shit outta the other guests. It’s like that classy little black dress that you can never go wrong with. Another smokin’ hot recipe from Thug Kitchen. This purple delight isn’t just a feast for the eyes though, with its slightly earthy, almost smoky flavour it’s gonna excite your taste buds too. The walnut crumble elevates it to another level, and like a high-flying Zeppelin that’s exploded into flames, you won’t be able to escape how amazing this hummus tastes.

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Blender Red Sauce p.107

This shit is crazy! It’s hard to believe that there are only three ingredients in this recipe. With colours as dazzling and flourescent as MSG-laden sweet and sour sauce, but with only natural ingredients instead, it shocks and awes both on a taste and visual level. Dip your vegetables in this red motherfucker and your life will be forever changed.

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Landlocked Ceviche p.48

Just look at that. Is your mouth watering yet? This was possibly one of my favourites. It makes me think of salsa because of the tomatoes, the fresh cilantro, lime and jalapenos, but the raw cauliflower gives it something extra-special. A sort of crunch and a substantialness that you wouldn’t get with a regular salsa. The moment this tasty motherfucker hitches a ride with a tortilla chip to your mouth is an instant you won’t forget.

So treat yourself to a flavour explosion. You deserve happiness and spectacular food in your life. Seize it with both hands and shove it in your mouth! Commit to the moment and feast your fucking face off.

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