Eat Like You Give a Fuck: Coconut Pancakes with Mango Coulis


Life is too short to not fill with joy.

Joy and pancakes.

And delicious mango coulis. We can’t forget that shit, either!

My kid had a friend over for a sleepover. They woke up at 5am the morning after (or still the same night depending on how you look at the situation) and were “STARVING TO DEATH”, supposedly. There were arms being waved in desperation, there were super-loud voices, and there was far too much eye contact for this early in the morning. This drama was pre-coffee and pre-sunrise for me, so rather than start telling them about how in real life they’re actually super-privelidged to not be starving to death, I thought I’d keep a low profile and make them some pancakes while I got as much coffee into my body as I could get away with unnoticed.

I opened the Thug Kitchen Party Grub cookbook to page 24 and had a look at the coconut pancakes recipe.

First, I made the mango coulis, Thug style, by throwing everything in the blender and letting “that fucker” run until it was all nice and mostly smooth. Easiest thing ever and literally took two minutes to do.

Then on to the pancakes.

I had no toasted coconut in the house, so I grabbed the nearest thing I could find, which was dessicated coconut and threw it in a frying pan. I quickly guzzeled some more coffee and rubbed my eyes til I felt sorta human.


The Thugs say to pour the liquids into a ‘medium glass’. I don’t know how exactly they define medium-sized, and maybe it was because it was so early in the morning and I was tired as fuck, but as hard as I tried I couldn’t get that kind of volume into a regular glass. Eventually I gave up and got out the big guns: our HUGEST Gin and Tonic glasses. These fuckers are big, and anyone drinking at my house can testify to that. Four gin and tonics in these glasses and you’ve emptied an ENTIRE bottle of gin. No exageration. Though my hubby mixes a mean G n’ T, and is an “alcohol-enthusiast” (a.k.a. aspiring alcoholic), so that might also have something to do with it.


I followed the rest of the instructions. By now the boys were jumping up and down with excitement on the sofa at the thought of pancakes. I had to remind them that our sofa is a  dignified old lady who doesn’t fare well with being bounced on. They didn’t respond well to this reminder and started closing in on me with hunger in their eyes. I slowly backed into the kitchen as they snarled and growled at me like hungry wolves. I desperately grabbed the first thing I could from the countertop and threw at them, all the while never averting my gaze from their crazy eyes. I thought I had grabbed a bag of desiccated coconut. It turns out what I’d grabbed were toothpicks; and while they drizzled down on the floor like sprinkles on icecream, I ran into the kitchen to quickly finish making the pancakes.


While the boys were busy doing a ‘Rain Man’ and counting the toothpicks in the hallway, I set the table. The ravenous, ferocious beasts calmed down once the food was on the table, and actually seemed to convert back into nice boys again.


The house was almost silent as they ate. It was bliss.

I sipped my coffee at a safe distance, and once the boys had had their fill, I sat down at the table to have a feast of my own. The great thing about this recipe is that it’s from the Thug Kitchen Party Grub Cookbook, which means portion size is enough for several people. So after the boys had had loads of pancakes, there were still enough for me and even a couple left over. It was perfect.


The pancakes were sweet, but not overly, and the mango coulis added a sweet tartness that went hand-in-hand with the coconut. We threw some blueberries on top, and that worked a treat too. The pancakes were a rich golden brown, and combined with the smell of coconut, I had visions of holidays, beaches and suntans dancing through my mind. If I’d had some decent toasted coconut shavings instead of randomly fry-toasted-at-home desiccated coconut, I think that would’ve sent this breakfast to tropical breakfast paradise.

So next time you want to start your day in a chilled way, and eat like you give a fuck, try these. Maybe for a lazy weekend brunch? For extra relaxation points, maybe leave out the snarling children.





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