The Curious Gincident with the Dog in the Night-Time

Making all 124 recipes from the Brave New Meal cookbook in 365 days.
9 recipes down, 115 to go…

The Gincident Cocktail

page 168 of Brave New Meal.

So when you have 15-30 minutes on your hands because you’re waiting to see if a little line appears in the right window or not, you might as well keeps your hands and mind busy by preparing a cocktail.

After all, not many things can be quite as boring/anxiety provoking as taking a dreaded covid home-test, so what better way to calm your nerves than with an alcoholic beverage? Am I right? Or am I right?

I got all the gear ready; the cuke, the lime and maple syrup…

It was amazing because there was EXACTLY enough gin left in the bottle to make two drinks. Exactly the amount the recipe promised. Like to the drop. It was perfect. I took it as a sign from the great cocktail maker in the sky that we were meant to go out in style, finishing our last bottle with the drink of all drinks. I started salivating a little in anticipation.

I noticed my dog doing the same, but it was nearing his dinner time, so it was probably for less gin related reasons.

I scrambled around to see if I could find a glass jar. I found one that used to have dried dog food in it, and figured what’s the harm? It has been washed. When my dog saw me get it out of the cupboard he got all excited and came wagging his way into the kitchen, with swift excited whole-body movements. I couldn’t help myself but sniff the jar at that point, wondering if he could smell something I couldn’t. How clean was this jar exactly?

The jar passed the sniff test, and I moved on.

I looked around to see where our fresh herbs were. Turns out I’d forgot them a little over the Christmas holidays and they had seen better days. I managed to take a few leaves, and apologised to the rest of the plant, as I gently and slightly guiltily, slid it into the compost bin.

I threw some ice in some big glasses for the cocktails, getting all excited at the sight. Then I read the recipe and realised the ice wasn’t meant to go in the glasses, but in the jar, to chill the fuck out of the drink. (First rule of TK is read the recipe the whole way through. Second rule of TK is read the recipe the whole way through) Whoops. So I hastily transferred them into the jar before anyone could notice.

I threw the other ingredients into the jar, and shook the jar like there was no tomorrow. Fortunately the lid was on at the time, so it didn’t go all over the floor, and the dog who was sitting there looking at me with question marks in his eyes.

It ended up looking kind of cloudy and again my mind couldn’t help but go to the dog-foodeyness of the jar, and it suddenly occurred to me that one of the signs of covid is not being able to smell properly. Hmmm.
Oh well, it’s too late now, dog food or not I was having this drink.

This drink was amazing. I sipped it and felt relief and relaxation wash over me as lines appeared in all the right places.

I cannot guarantee you a negative covid test result if you make this drink, but I can guarantee you a tasty sip. Bad Manners have done it again. And the ginger beer and the citrus in there could almost pass for healthy…and they do use alcohol to disinfect stuff, so maybe this drink could almost be considered “medicinal”? Maybe??

Cheers.

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